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PillsDuring our first fleeting moments
I swore to lifelong dedication
Partners forever and always
You were my vital medication
Each day to you I awoke
My keeper - a ball and steel chain
This battered heart couldn't take it
Without you the world was just plain
Your life and mine became habit
A place in which I could call home
Hatred and love grew together
Symptoms of deepest Stockholme
Years passed and I would forget you
Perhaps twice a week nothing more
It felt just as good on my lonesome
Breaking the oath I once swore
Days stretched out into long weeks
Packed up I threw you away
Don't need this no more I remember
When colour was more than just grey
Numbing the pain has a price
Feelings don't come out so true
Freedom is what I have asked for
And now I am me - not you
notfriendscut the crap and grow up
you knew i wouldn't show up
I have no reason to stay
it's your games i don't play
make a joke about me
laugh while you still can't see
i don't belong in this place
your friendships are a disgrace
i wonder why i know you
i don't know what i should do
alone i've lived and will live
with nothing left i can give
empty smiles fill your lies
but i can tell from your eyes
you really couldn't care less
one day i hope you confess
these people that you call friends
who never cut the loose ends
stay around to use you
and wouldn't care to lose you
Do what you wantHow can you measure the pass of a day
When the hours won't ever lay still
The sun sets and rises twelve times a week
For we've got some spare time to kill
What does one know of the feelings inside
Of our faces that never don't smile
There's nothing wrong with showing our teeth
To live in the light for a while
Step on the racetrack and give life your best
For even if you'll never win
Finish the journey and maybe you'll find
The place where all stories begin
Don't be held back by the devils or lies
When you know deep down what is right
Let troubles go and learn how to fly
And you'll never again have to fight
sleep for the endyesterday the sky was blue
how things can change in a day
that very hour i never knew
insomnia was coming my way
the darkest days i'd show a smile
don't need any personal light
found my own way for a while
for once i was winning this fight
but it caught me by surprise
a trap for when i grew weak
now i see through jaded eyes
my perfect world gone bleak
ain't enough to stand up tall
like nothing can bring me down
will i make it through at all
or simply fall and drown
hungerto be hollow but not heartbroken
withdrawn but not sad
queasy but not sick
dizzy but definitely not drunk
a teacher who watches the world, a student
sees mistakes are made but cannot guide
sees confusion and endless blind ignorance
frustrated for the sake of simple pride
an envy of the crazy, the local cat lady
at least she has company all she wants
while there are too many who walk all alone
wishing for someone to talk to, just once
pity the starving who have naught but naught
those who live in a world of waste and misuse
while people are clueless and don't give a damn
so few can escape life's long hard abuse
walking in the darkwhat do you do when the truth is a lie
and you can't seem to find where to go?
what do you do when the people you trust
are the people you don't really know?
when the sky falls and you're left all alone
with secrets that no-one should hear,
just keep on running in hopes that you find
freedom that you can hold dear.
don't look behind you for that simply proves
that you're only alone in this war.
know you don't walk with your eyes in the dark
there's a whole new world to explore.
take my advice with a spoonful of salt
'cause it sounds too good to be true.
keep your head high and don't follow me
you should only trust one person; you.
there is no place like home..i've run away from everywhere
felt the sting of cool night air
won't stay long i must return
this blistered scar it starts to burn
no safe haven i can stay
nowhere far enough away
from bitter words and taunting sneers
and secrets not for others' ears
i don't belong in any place
it's only me i must erase
once i danced out in the light
now only for another fight
keep on searching for someone
to help undo the things i've done
i know that what i did was wrong
don't break down i must be strong
count the tears i did not cry
take a step towards the sky
just for now i'll play pretend
and live like every day's the end
apocalypticstrangle the world in aspiration
blind to the calls of desperation
from the edge of vanity
there comes a word of clarity
beat the flesh man to his bones
'till in black his savior comes
grass is greener where you're not
burn the house on this empty lot
let smoke rise and be the beacon
deep blue skies will fall and weaken
fear will be the darkest drive
only the weakest won't survive
change is but a new beginning
for the few who end up winning
loss is naught but weak reminders
soul is all that one requires
seeking for the right direction
weakened by a fatal infection
upwards coma skydiveescape through the clouds
dance on wings of a plane
inverse skydive to the stars
never to return again
taste the sound of freedom
feel the colours of the fall
wrapped all around you
but not really there at all
reflect hope in the eyes
of lives long ago past
a race to the beginning
don't want to be the last
never too late to let go
there is no real cure
for this blissful coma
everyone must endure
Wrong side of the mirrorI can see a woman, watching me through the glass. She is young, in her early twenties, with a haunted look about her. There is nothing especially spectacular about her, but something something quietly remarkable draws you in; captures your attention; fixes you to the spot.
Her eyes are a slate grey, intense and piercing; a dark energy smouldering in their depths. You notice that they glow a deep blue, like the ocean, when caught by the morning light, sometimes even the shade of a pale winter sky. A subtle ring of gold accents the border between her pupils and irises, which hold a faint sparkle of mischief against their black voids.
A shock of tight, red curls, messy yet somehow precise, frames her face. The sides of her hairstyle are trimmed short, not quite a mohawk; showing her natural gold-tinted brown. You could almost imagine her as one of the blond, adorable, cherub children, if not for the shadows of experience marking her features.
Beautiful is not a word that suits her, and de
Ugly.As a young child, new to the world, pure of it's intoxicating fumes, I remember a tree.
Such an ugly tree I remembered it to be.
It stood tall, creeping a good ways above any of the others, but it was disfigured in many ways.
Its branches were thin and fragile, like the bones of a sickly human, they twisted in retched ways that anyone would think should snap them clean off.
It was pale and grey, standing out among its fellow familiars, never to show the beautiful colors that it must have held within.
Its bark was edgy and course, as if it had survived through one of to many harsh winters, never falling from its place.
And I remember, as the others land succumbed to failling, giving themselves up, withering away, that tree never did.
It continued to stand tall, proud and majestic as that ugly tree could possibly seem.
It fought its way through whatever was thrown its way, fought until it could no more, never failing whatever duty it believed it needed to fulfill.
When Home Becomes a Prison (Strength)When your pillow is no longer the fresh place to lay your emaciated spirit
But is now the chain on the ball that is your bed.
When a door is no longer the entrance to a retreat from the world
But a metaphorical lock keeping you ensconced, never stepping foot out into it.
When windows suddenly become looking glasses that never break,
Just heckle you with what you're missing in their transparent prisons.
A token of what you used to be in the faces of the people walking passed.
The people who pay no note to you;
Who have no inclination of what they are; the symbols of your long-ago life.
The sharp splinters of nostalgia that just glimpsing upon their face sends into your heart.
Every time they walk their dog,
You grimace because you cannot walk long enough to do the same for yours.
Constant reminders in everything everyone does in everywhere you go
of the things you are losing without control.
You clutch and grasp while slipping into sliding as you clasp onto what is left o
My HeartYou know you’re truly in love if hearing her name, even if it’s not being referred to her, fills you up with undefinable joy. You know you’re truly in love when you remember how your voice trembled when you called her and read her the letter, asking her to be your girlfriend. You know you’re truly in love if the pure thought of feeling her soft skin on yours makes you shudder with delight. You know you’re truly in love if, she’s not only the first and last thing on your mind every day, but also after every meal, every motion, every book, every song, every breath. You know you’re truly in love when 771 miles isn’t the distance you are away from each other, but rather the amount of roads, bridges, and rivers you’d cross to get to her. You know you’re truly in love if every song you hear you can connect to the overwhelming joy and the infinite sorrow she makes you feel. You know you’re truly in love when you write a story a
Dear JamesI placed a candle on the water for you today. It flickered and floated and gathered with candles of other losses; fathers, friends – whoever. It was as hard as letting you go; if that candle drifted away from me then would I lose you again? When they scooped the candle from the water and your flame went out who would remember that I honoured you? So I took your candle from the water and placed it into my bag. Not because I can’t let you go but because I want to remember. I will light that candle to remember you on special days.
James darling, I missed you more today than any other. I know I will miss you more again at Christmas, on your birthday and on the day you died. You are an angel but you are still with me – in the heart covered by the tattoo of your name. The ink came from within, seeping up through my skin and not down.
I am grateful for the two sonograms I have of you, yet part of me yearns to know what your face would have looked like. Would you have his thi
SaturdaysBrought into this world on a rainy Saturday morning
No memories of the years that follow
Until the pain
Eyes of a beast
Tears of a child
Walls subconsciously building to keep the child safe
But are the walls for safety or containment
Blood and bone breaking
Screaming into the night
True Love: Part one
Finding true love yourself, it is quite rare these days. But once you’ve met your special one, once you’ve looked into their eyes, you will know that something big is about to happen, if you realise it or not .. it will.
You will know deep inside, when your heart starts to skip a beat, when you want to simply grab her and kiss her until you both run out of breath.
True love is not about what you have to offer, is about how much are you willing to give, to share and sacrifice for her. It is about trying to make her happy at any given point, out of nowhere, cause you wanted so. It is about sharing your thoughts with her, telling her that you’re scared of losing her someday .. she will simply kiss your nose and tell you “silly, you’re never going to lose me”.True love is beyond physical attraction, if two souls get united, the reaction will be so powerful that absolutely no one can separate you, ever.
Hidden Language"Is he ok?"
Is he alive?
"Is he alright?"
Is he breathing?
"Is he sleeping?"
Is he dead...?
Stay or Leave?"Don't get mad. I don't like it."
"Don't cry. I don't like it."
"Don't be sad. I don't like it."
"Don't smile. I don't like it."
"Don't laugh. I don't like it"
"Don't be you. I don't like it"
Then what am I supposed to do?
Then who am I?
You're saying you don't like me.
But you stay with me.
To change me into someone else
So that I don't exist anymore
I'm tired of it
I'm tired of changing
But I don't stop
I'm able to but I don't
Because you are the only one left
If you're gone,
I'll be left behind
All over again
But if you stay
I won't exist
But it wouldn't matter anyways.
LifeHey you, life! Yea I mean you, evil thing standing over there!
I saw the sun today. I saw the sun, life!
now I laugh at you, life. Laugh in your face,
Because I know how cruel you are.
And i've seen behind the mask you show to the world, life. The world doesn't know you lie.
Your real face is a beautiful thing, did you know?
So so beautiful.... Why do you hide it, life?
Why do you hide away from your wonderful self?
I've often asked myself questions about you, life. Lots and lots of questions.
"Why is living such a task? Why can't people just get along with you, life?"
And I've asked questions about your bother. Remember your brother; death?
"Why do we die? Does dying hurt? Is there life after death?"
But I guess with your mask on, you can't answer these questions.
But that's alright, I don't need answers now, life.
For I have found a way to get along with the person you pretend to be.
This way isn't perfect, and definitely not painless.
But it is worth it
LatreuophobiaI wash off sick-sweet orange lipstick in front of a mirror as dusty as gothic romances. It tastes like oblivion, that is to say, like nothing my tongue can detect.
The door opens with a creak no private restroom could emulate. Some chick with blue bobbed hair and smeared eyeliner. I looked like that once. Ten years ago.
Getting the beer out of my hair is harder. Some men just can't take it when I'd rather they not kiss my feet or call me an angel or-
“Dayum girl, you look like a goddess.”
I gulp, taste of acid.
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^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More